


Love is Blind (As A Bat)

by BazzyBelle



Series: Carry On Countdown Fics (2019) [11]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Bat-Baz, Carry On Countdown (Simon Snow), Carry On Countdown 2019, Day 18: Crack!, Fic inspired by art, Hijinks & Shenanigans, M/M, Silly, Yes Bat-Baz, awkward kisses, fixing a messed-up spell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 11:34:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21968647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BazzyBelle/pseuds/BazzyBelle
Summary: The bat dives straight towards me as I keep whipping the towel to deter it. I stumble into the kitchen and pull out a spatula. It isn’t ideal, but I don’t want to hurt the thing, just get it out of my flat. The bat keeps trying to reach me, but I’m waving the spatula at it. I’m hoping to move towards the window again and push it outside, when Penny shouts.“Simon! It’s got something in its claws!As if on cue, the bat drops the item it’s been holding the whole time. I pick up the item and inspect it; An ivory wand with a leather grip. Baz’s wand.The little bat lands on the bookshelf and perches upside down. Penny sees the wand and looks to the bat. She figures it out before I do and begins to laugh.
Relationships: Penelope Bunce & Simon Snow, Penelope Bunce & Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Series: Carry On Countdown Fics (2019) [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1554754
Comments: 8
Kudos: 128
Collections: Carry On Countdown 2019





	Love is Blind (As A Bat)

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn’t intending on writing a fic for this prompt but then I saw [THIS](https://parijpg.tumblr.com/post/189637498413/carry-on-countdown-day-18-crack) amazing piece by the talented @parijpg on tumblr (they are CRAZY talented!!) and I HAD to write a little something.
> 
> So many apologies for this fic. I wanna say it’s a late CRACK submission for the Countdown, but I don’t know. 
> 
> Also, sorry if there are typos or any other nonsense. I wrote this quickly, while at work and didn’t have time to have it beta-read properly. 
> 
> Enjoy… I guess… xD

**SIMON**

He’s late. He’s never late.

He was supposed to be back at around supper time, but I have yet to hear anything from him. I check my mobile, in case I missed a text or call, but find nothing waiting for me. I type up a quick message, just to see where Baz is and if he’s alright. 

“ _ Done at your parents’ place? Been missing you all day.” _

I toss my mobile onto the table and glance at my watch: 9:30 PM. He really should have been back home by now. He was only supposed to go to his parents’ estate for an afternoon visit. I don’t want to worry, Baz knows how to handle himself (ever since I’ve been teaching him how to properly defend himself). Still, the back of my mind tends to worry that something is wrong, or that something happened to him. I chalk it up to old anxieties making a brief return and pull out a comic that I’ve been reading. 

I don’t know how much time has passed when I hear a very soft  _ thump thump _ sound coming from the balcony window. I get up from the sofa and head towards the sound. A quick look outside doesn’t raise any flags for me. It looks like a typical London night; dark skies, clouds and light pollution making it impossible to see any stars. I turn away from the window and head back to the sofa. 

I check my mobile again; 10:30 PM and  _ still _ no message from Baz. I can feel my heart sinking and my stomach beginning to twist.  _ Something is wrong. _ I shove my mobile in my pocket as I rush to Penny’s room and begin banging on her door. 

“Penny! Come out! Something’s wrong!”

Her door whips opened and Penny stands in front of me, hands at her hips with a very cross look on her face. I see her laptop opened with Skype running in the background, so I assume she’s been talking to Shepard before I interrupted her. “This better be important Simon! I was-”

“Baz is missing.” I interrupt her.

“Are you sure? When was he supposed to arrive back home?” Penny is frowning at me. I know she doesn’t like to be interrupted, but this is serious. 

“Almost 3 hours ago…” I begin to pick at my cuticles and look to the floor. My foot begins to tap nervously and my heart just won’t calm down. 

“He’s not hunting?”

“He would have texted me Penny! Something’s wrong!” I growl at her. I hate to be this impatient with Penny, but I know my boyfriend and all the signs point to him being missing or worse. We are wasting precious moments arguing about nothing. 

“Alright, alright…” Penny heads to her computer and types up a quick goodbye message to Shepard. She returns from her bedroom, holding several crystals, and spell books. She dumps them onto the kitchen table and sighs heavily. 

“You know, for someone as strong, and powerful a magician as Baz is, he does tend to go missing often.” Penny states as she begins to thumb through a book about spells to call upon a loved one.

“This is not funny Penny! I’m fucking worried about him!” I run my fingers through my hair and start to think of the million and one possible things that could have happened to Baz. I then start to run through the million and one different ways that I could have better protected him; or the million and one different moves he could have used to protect himself. I run the risk of spiraling out of control, when I hear another soft  _ thump thump _ coming from the balcony window again. Penny’s head whips up from the book she’s reading. 

“What was that?” Penny starts to get up from her seat, but I hold my arm out, blocking her path.

“Probably the wind. I heard it earlier before. There’s nothing out there! Can we focus on finding Baz?” Penny starts to sit back down when:

_ Thump thump! _

That blasted sound again. Penny jumps from her seat and marches towards the door. I try to stop her again, but she pushes my arm aside. “Simon, just let me see for myself that nothing is outside.” I let her go, while I continue to pour over the books. Penny shrugs and starts to head back, but we hear the sound again. 

_ Thump thump! Thumpthumpthumpthumpthump THUMP! _

“OH BLOODY HELL!” Penny opens the window with vigor. She is about to step onto the balcony, when something small and black flies into the flat. Penny screams and ducks her head. 

I bolt from the table and grab the first thing I see -- in this case, a dish towel, hanging off a chair -- and start whipping it towards the…  _ bird?  _ No… not a bird… a  _ BAT! _ How did a bloody bat make it all the way here!?

The bat dives straight towards me as I keep whipping the towel to deter it. I stumble into the kitchen and pull out a spatula. It isn’t ideal, but I don’t want to hurt the thing, just get it out of my flat. The bat keeps trying to reach me, but I’m waving the spatula at it. I’m hoping to move towards the window again and push it outside, when Penny shouts. 

“Simon! It’s got something in its claws!

As if on cue, the bat drops the item it’s been holding the whole time. I pick up the item and inspect it; An ivory wand with a leather grip.  _ Baz’s  _ wand.The little bat lands on the bookshelf and perches upside down. Penny sees the wand and looks to the bat. She figures it out before I do and begins to laugh. 

“Oh…  _ BASIL! _ How did this happen?!” The little bat --  _ BAZ _ \-- chirps angrily at Penny and dives towards her. She screams again and dives under the table. “Keep that up, Basil, and we’ll see if I bother helping you!” Bat-Baz flies towards me. I open my hands and he lands in them. I gently close them and hold him softly. I lift him up to my face and take a good look at him. He certainly looks like a bat, but I can see the few elements that are true to Baz and Baz only. Such as the angry little scowl on his face. I softly run my thumb over his little head, something that human-Baz likes, in an effort to calm him down. 

“Baz? Oh…  _ Baz _ …” Bat-Baz nuzzles my hand and hides his face between his wings. My heart softens for him, because he’s probably mortified that I’m having to see him like this. Penny steps up behind me and studies my little bat-boyfriend. She lowers her glasses and gets a good look at him, small smirk appearing on her lips. 

“You know, I almost prefer Baz like this. How sad is that?”

Bat-Baz hisses at Penny and begins to flap his tiny little wings at her. I turn away from Penny giving her a dirty look. “Penny! Stop! Don’t upset him. He’s already embarrassed!” I start to gently rub his little head again and scratch his little bat wings. It’s something Baz does for me when I’m upset and I like it. It seems to calm him down.

Penny has walked back to the table and sat down. She rests her chin on her hand and starts to think. I place Bat-Baz on my shoulder and walk to join her. He hops up on top of my head and nestles in my curls. “So, how do we fix this?”

Penny shrugs, “I don’t know. There aren’t spells available for this type of transformation. You both know how spells work. The language has to be  _ specific _ .” 

Bat-Baz flies from my head and lands on the comic book that I’ve been reading. I follow him and pick it up ( _ Batman: Year One) _ . Of course! Batman is incredibly popular, especially the campy TV show from the 60’s (I’ve watched a lot of those reruns. They are more than a little absurd).

“BATMAN!” Penny shouts enthusiastically. Bat-Baz flies back to my hands and lands inside. Penny points her (brand new) ring at him and shouts in a loud, clear voice:

“NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA BAT-MAN!” The jewel on her ring glows a very bright purple over Bat-Baz’s tiny body. But nothing happens. I start to look him over, and he gives me an exasperated look almost as if to say  _ “What are you expecting to find, Snow?” _

“Nothing happened… Penny… he’s still a bat…” I sigh. Penny raises her hands up in the air and shrugs. 

“Well, I’m trying Simon! But this is all new to me!” Bat-Baz flies up to my face and nudges my lips with his little head, before returning to my opened hands. Penny suppresses a laugh as she understands what needs to happen.

“Simon… You may have to kiss him…” I stare in disbelief at Penny, and back at Bat-Baz. It sounds absolutely nutters, but if it’ll change Baz back into himself, then I’ll do it. 

I raise him up to my face again: “I know you wanted to try something new, Baz.. but this is really something, yeah?” Bat-Baz raises a tiny eyebrow and sticks his tongue out at me, mockingly. I laugh at him and bring him closer to my mouth. I whisper softly in his ear: “Don’t get any ideas in that disturbed little head of yours.” Bat-Baz looks away from me, and I swear I see the slightest bit of pink underneath his black fur. I bring his tiny face close to me and plant a small kiss on his bat lips. 

Bat-Baz immediately starts glowing a violently bright purple colour. I bolt towards our bedroom, shouting a thanks to Penny. It may be rude, but I get the feeling Baz will come back completely stark-naked and I don’t need him to be further embarrassed. 

I place Bat-Baz on the bed and watch as the transformation takes over... and... I was right. He ends up being magnificently naked. Human-Baz stretches his arms and back and sighs heavily. 

I want to do so many things to him right now, but I figure it’s best to let him get reacquainted with his body. I pull out some clothes and hand them to him. I give him a small peck on his cheek and run my fingers through his black hair.

“You alright?”

“I am going to kill my step-sister.” He grumbles as he pulls on a pair of trousers. I cannot help but laugh at him. Baz shoots a glare at me and I shut up. I pull my mobile from my pocket and hand it to him. I imagine he’s going to want to call his parents to tell them he’s alright. 

Baz dials a number, while I hold onto his hand. I lean my head on his shoulder, thankful that he’s alright and that today’s disaster left us both with minimal damage. Baz’s back straightens up as he begins to yell into the phone.

“I swear to Merlin, Mordelia, if you use another Potter spell again, I will snap your wand myself! How many times do I have to tell you, Rowling’s spells are dodgy  _ at best!? _ ”

I place my hand on his shoulder and begin to rub it, in an effort to calm him down. Baz is back to normal… Thank Crowley for that.

Though I think he’s gotten a mad idea in his head… 

Git… 


End file.
